I’ve planned my way out of here

[Roland Michel Tremblay]

I’ve planned my way out of here

Tell me
Would you like me
To be out of your life
Tomorrow morning?

I’ve planned my way out
Of this nightmare we call life
I can change it all overnight
You will never hear of me again

Tell me!
Is that what you want?
Please understand me
This is no longer a threat
It is almost a plea
For me
To finally
Start living all over again
In such freedom
And peace
That one requires

I’ve never been up
To be murdered
Or for an early death
Through stress
With you

After all
How could one expect
Such a peaceful existence
Whilst it has always been
But hell at home?

I had enough!
I think I am finally ready
To move on
To leave you far behind
My God!
Why was it so impossible to do it before?

I won’t change
You will have to learn
To live with what you have
And make it work somehow
And stop whinging and fighting
Because
I cannot change
Just like
You cannot change

Say one word!
And tomorrow morning
I’m out of your existence forever
I’ve planned my way out
There’s nothing anymore
That keeps me here
There’s no more love here
There’s not even friendship

It is over
It has been for many years
I don’t understand why we kept
The pretence for so long
Did we somehow still care for each other?
Did we somehow dream
All would change overnight
After some cataclysm in the world?

I have stopped
A long time ago
To be such
An idealist
I am now
A realist

Maybe you do not need
To say one word tomorrow
About if I should leave forever
Maybe I should just leave forever
I had enough
There’s no future here
Perhaps there never was

What took us so long to understand
What was so evident?
I don’t know
After so much psychological abuse
After nearly being killed
I should have picked up on it much earlier

This is the end
It has been for years
And only now
Tomorrow
I’m getting out of here

I’ve planned my way out of here
And now I’m going to activate that plan
I don’t care for anything else
In this world
I don’t care for what will become of you
I only care for myself at this time
I need to get back
To some sort of sanity
That relationship must end
One way or another
As I do not care to die
In such a way
And I’m tired
Of this permanent war
Raging between us

It is over
It has always been over
I must find the courage
To finally
Get out of here
Forever!

***

“Without irony, this life would hardly be worth living.”

Roland Michel Tremblay
http://www.themarginal.com/destructivism.pdf


Destructivism Dark Poetry
http://www.anarchistecouronne.com/destructivismpoetry.htm
Book of Songs (Best of my dark poetry, what you can turn into songs!)
http://www.crownedanarchist.com/bookofsongs.htm
Los Angeles, California, Where Paradise turns to Hell
http://www.crownedanarchist.com/losangeles.htm
Working in Westminster, Intelligence not Required
http://www.crownedanarchist.com/workinginwestminster.htm
The Anarchist (published in French in Paris)
http://www.crownedanarchist.com/anarchist.htm
The Anarchist II (Out of this World)
http://www.crownedanarchist.com/anarchist2.htm
At Another Level
http://www.themarginal.com/atanotherlevel.htm

Roland Michel Tremblay